I'll Protect You
by HeartOvaLion
Summary: Sequell to Not In A Million Years.When Zell has a strange dream he starts looking for the answers to his past. The result nearly gets Selphie killed and he might even cost him the love of his life to Seifer. RxR please.
1. DejaVu

Hey now I'm back, I have to thank all the people that have reviewed my past two stories: Not In A Million Years, and Clash Of The Fates. I hope you enjoy this next one and once again thank you to all who reviewed. You know who you are. As always I don't own Final Fantasy in any way except for in my dreams and before I forget, remember to review for it's the reviews that I get that keep me going. Enjoy!  
  
AN. By the way I'm going to keep things going between Fujin and Zell. If you have now idea what I'm talking about I suggest you read "Not In A Million Years. It's a sweet story and if you haven't read it I think you'll really like it anyway enough babbling from me on with the story.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Four months after the defeat of Ultimacia, Squall, Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Fujin and Irvine sat at the lunch table. It was raining but to those few it was one of their better afternoons. Seifer and Rajin were usually just around Garden, they would come by every now and again to keep an eye on Fujin and to invite her to do things with them. But other than that they weren't part of the same group that Fujin was now in.  
  
It was summer so the rain was a bit unusual, the seven at the moment didn't put too much thought into it and just looked up at the windows as the rain fell down. Zell and Selphie both spoke in unison.  
  
"It's so peaceful." They looked at each other and smiled. But then oddly enough they both shifted in their seats, exactly the same way. Everyone started to laugh well everyone except for Fujin who just smiled. They stated there looking up at the falling rain until eventually Rinoa and Squall got up.  
  
"Where are you two headed off too?" Irvine asked.  
  
"Nida wants to talk to me about where we're going to go next. I mean we can't stay out in the middle of the ocean forever." Squall answered back.  
  
Satisfied with Squalls answer, Irvine waved goodbye to his friends and then turned to see what the rest of the group were doing. He wasn't surprised when he saw them all go back to staring up at the rainfall. But the rain had momentarily stopped and the sun was now piercing threw the clouds showing streams of purple and light orange. The sun had started to set behind the clouds. Suddenly Zell and Selphie's faces changed from smiling to an almost shocked expression. They both had deiza-vu, something about the sky and something about both of them sitting together seemed very familiar. But just as quickly as the came it had left. They looked at each other for a moment trying to think back. They it was useless. They didn't say anything to one another and after a moment dismissed the whole thing.  
  
Quistis sat up and excused herself from the table. "I'm going to the library and see if the book I ordered ever arrived." She said. They all smiled and said their goodbyes. Selphie was the next to leave.  
  
"I'm gonna go too. It's getting late and I want to make sure that the stage isn't getting ruined with this sudden downpour." She said in her usual upbeat tone and skipped off.  
  
Irvine didn't want to hang out and be the third wheel with Zell and Fujin, so he excused himself and went to find some group of girls to go flirt with. Leaving the two alone. Fujin moved closer to Zell. Whenever they were around people they didn't really act like a couple since they knew no one wanted to see it and because they both hated seeing when other couples were all over each other. So once Irvine walked out they held hands and stayed there staring at the clouds. Fujin for once was the first to break the silence.  
  
"Why me?" She asked while not moving from Zell's hold.  
  
"What do you mean?" he replied. She turned her head to look up at him with a very sincere look on her face.  
  
"Why me?" She asked again. Zell rested his head on hers.  
  
"Oh, why do I want to be with you? That's easy, because being around you makes me happy. Because when I look into your face the world stops and all my problems however little they might be just fade away ya'know." He let out a small sigh. "I have never been this happy before and it's not because I'm just with someone but because I'm with you. And finally I know that we never got along very well before but.you treat me like a man, and I thank Hyne every day for bringing you into my otherwise lonely and miserable life." Then he tilted his head down and kissed her. "But then you already know that, you just like hearing it don'tcha?" Fujin blushed then put hear head against his chest melting in his arms.  
  
After Selphie checked on the stage with was albeit a little damp but otherwise ok. She had nothing to do really since the next garden event was still months away and now that she was a SeeD she didn't have any more classes to take. She remembered what Quistis was up too and decided to go keep her favorite ex- instructor company. When she arrived she saw the girl with the pigtail at the front desk. Selphie walked over to her and asked if she had seen Quistis around. The girl smiled and pointed to the back. Selphie brought her hand up and bopped herself on the head for not remembering that Quistis always had a spot where she went to read. The turned to thank the girl with the pigtail and headed towards the back. When she got to the back she saw Quistis sitting alone reading a book on junctions and rare items.  
  
She was about to say 'Boo!" to Quistis interrupted her. "Hi Selphie, nothing to do?"  
  
Selphie's shoulders dropped down disappointed that she failed at being able to sneak up on Quistis. She sat down next to her and they began talking about her deiza-vu with Zell.  
  
"Ever since I stopped using GF's I've started regaining lost memories, some are very cryptic and others seem like they were just yesterday. I think the same is happening with Zell." She said. Quistis looked at her.  
  
"Well, what's this memory or whatever it is that you have with Zell?" Quistis asked as she removed her glasses.  
  
Selphie looked down at the floor unsure of herself. "I don't really know, just something about us sitting together and looking up at the sky was just so familiar, but that's it I can't remember anything else." She slumped off to the right and pouted. She really wanted to know what it was.  
  
Quistis put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry I'm sure it will come to you, like you said since you stopped using GF's maybe the rest will comeback to you." Selphie looked at her and smiled then got up and skipped out of the library. Later that night Zell kept turning in his bed. He was having a dream.  
  
It had just stopped raining and a five year old Zell and Selphie were sitting on the rocks by the beach at the orphanage.  
  
"Zelly what are you tinking of?" Selphie asked. Zell kicked a rock in front of his scuffing his shoe.  
  
"About mom and dad, I really miss them." He said.  
  
"I know you do, I miss them too. I wish they hadn't gone to away." Selphie said while wiping off the dirt on her boot.  
  
"I remember when mommy use to sing to us. She had a pretty voice." Zell whispered.  
  
Selphie looked at him. "You were there when they went to sleep forever weren't you?" Zell nodded his head.  
  
"Uh huh. Mommy looked at me and said told me to look after and protect my sister." He sniffed hard as he started to cry.  
  
"And will you?" Selphie asked.  
  
Zell looked surprised. "Yup, yup. Sephie you're my sister and I'll always protect you cause it's what brothers are for and cuz mommy told me so." He said as they both looked up to the sky. The sun was just starting to set. They both looked at it when Selphie asked Zell another question.  
  
"You think they're up there right now?"  
  
Zell smiled at her. "Yup, yup!"  
  
Zell woke up from his dream with a loud gasp, "So that's what it meant." He said to himself. He got up and walked around. "I guess all my memories are coming back to be now that I stopped using my GF's. I wonder what's going on in Selphie's head? But what if it was just some crazy dream? Yeah that's gotta be it, or else why doesn't she remember the same things? Tch.that's all it was a dream." But he was just trying to convince himself. Whatever it was he would have to wait until the morning to see what Selphie though about it. End Of Chapter 1  
  
AN: So what do you think about my third fic? Please review and thanks to all of you who do. And let me know witch stories your writing so I can read yours. I'll update as soon as I can ok but only if you review k?:D 


	2. Questions

I want to thank my reviewers, it means a lot to me. And this chapter is dedicated to Dinchtbaby for being a friend and mostly for inspiring me to write this fic. So this is for you I can't thank you enough. Oh yeah and I don't own anything FF related except my art and the ideas in this fic. Anything else is just a dream.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The next morning Zell woke up at his usual time, he showered and dressed quickly and then headed to the cafeteria where the others would most likely be waiting for him. Selphie sat next to Quistis and on the other side sat Fujin. Selphie and Quistis whispered to each other and giggled every now and then while Squall and Rinoa enjoyed their breakfast. Irvine had just sat down when Quistis started to talk to Squall and making sure everyone heard her.  
  
"So Squall, what did you tell Cid to get class hours started an hour later? It's been driving me nuts for weeks now." She asked.  
  
Squall let out a faint smile. ".I told him the truth.about what happened a few weeks ago and of what I thought about all of you."(A.N. See Clash Of The Fates, Chapter 10 paragraph 2 to find out what he said:D) Quistis began to smile; her eyes were filling with tears, as she knew what he must have said. Although it looked as though everyone else was in the dark. Rinoa couldn't stop giggling since she already knew what he told Cid.  
  
Fujin was sitting there silent as ever waiting for Zell to arrive, she didn't quite feel comfortable with these people without Zell there. She looked down at her right hand wishing to see his there. The she heard some one say her name. So she looked up.  
  
"Um.sorry.what?" She said while looking to see who was addressing her. It was Selphie, and surprisingly enough she wasn't being loud.  
  
'Hey, you ok?" Selphie said in a sympathetic tone. Fujin nodded her head. Then Selphie moved in closer to Fujin as if she were telling her a secret.  
  
"You look good today." She said warmly.  
  
Fujin wasn't yet use to getting compliments from people just yet so she just smiled back as her way of saying thank you while trying to hide her blushing face. She almost jumped out of her seat when she realized Zell had snuck in and was already sitting next to her eating his hot dogs with one hand, and holding her hand with his other. * Oh jeez, I hate it when he does that. I swear he must have been a cat in another life time.* She thought to herself. But really she couldn't be happier to have him with her.  
  
When he was done eating his breakfast Zell kept looking at Selphie throughout the rest of time the group spent before classes started. * Could that dream have been real? Or should I start cutting down on the hotdogs before bed? Either way I think I think I should go talk to Cid. *  
  
Once Zell heard the bell he was snapped out of his train of thought. Everyone got up and said they're goodbyes and then headed off to what they had to do. Zell wasn't so sure of himself as a teacher but everyone assured him that his field combat class was one of the most popular and fun classes Garden had. So he figured once he was done he would see if he could maybe talk to Cid and Matron about his past.  
  
It was 5:00pm when he was finally done with his class and on the paper work he had to do. He made his way towards the elevator and stepped in. For some reason he always expected the elevator to go strait to the floor he wanted so he was a little off center when it stopped on the second floor. The doors slid open and Rinoa walked in. He didn't know what exactly she and Squall had but whenever he saw her she always had this glow around her.  
  
"Hey Rin, how's everything going?" He asked her.  
  
"Oh just fine Zell, how did you class go today?"  
  
"Not too well, I think I may have to fail a few students."  
  
Rinoa gave him a hurt look. "Awe, why?"  
  
Zell just raised an eyebrow to her. "Why? because they don't pay attention, they almost always get hurt and on top of that they think they know everything. Oh yeah and they cheat whenever I spare with one of them."  
  
Rinoa nodded her head in agreement to what he was saying when the elevator's bell went off letting the two know they had reached the third floor. Both Zell and Rinoa stepped off and headed to Cid's office when Rinoa stopped to talk to Zell some more.  
  
"So what are you coming up here for?" She asked with a smile.  
  
Zell let out a small sigh, "I have some questions I want to ask Cid, what about you?"  
  
"I just came to get Squall, Selphie is nice and all but she's tiring me out and I just want to finish the day relaxing with Squall. That's all, plus I think he's been in there too long as it is. It can't be good for him. He needs to get out and get a little sun. He's starting to look like a ghost." She said giggling.  
  
Zell almost started to laugh. When he remember why he was standing in front of Cid's office. He was about to knock on the door when he stopped himself and turned to Rinoa again.  
  
"Hey Rin, you've spent a lot of time with Selphie right?"  
  
Rinoa nodded her head, "Yup I know her pretty well, besides it's hard not to. She likes to talk a lot."  
  
"Has she ever mentioned where she was from, I mean aside from Galbadia? Did she ever say anything about her parents or if she remembers anything from before the orphanage?" He asked rather seriously.  
  
Rinoa bit her bottom lip and looked up as she thought. "Hm..nope, I can't say that I've ever heard her talk about that sort of thing. But then again on account of the GF's we've been using I don't know if she would even remember that. Why do you ask?" She replied.  
  
Zell just nodded his head. "No reason I was just wondering." And with that he finally knocked on the door, they were let in and Rinoa took Squall by the arm and almost dragged him out of the office while Zell stood there.  
  
"Yes Zell, what can I do for you?" Cid asked while standing up to greet the young SeeD.  
  
"Um.hello sir, I was just wondering if I could maybe ask you a few questions. If that's alright with you sir." Zell said nervously.  
  
"Now, now my dear boy. You and I go way back. There's no need for you to call me sir. You can address be as Cid."  
  
Zell swallowed hard. "Thank you sir..er. I mean Cid. Um. I was wondering, do you remember anything about where I came from or by chance know how it came to be that I ended up at your Orphanage?"  
  
Cid looked at him, almost studying his form. "May I ask why?"  
  
Zell looked down at the floor trying to think. "I've been having these dreams you see, I don't know what they mean but they bring up some questions that I can't answer for my self. It would mean the world to me if you could help fill in the blanks ya'know."  
  
Cid stroked his chin, obviously he was in deep thought and then went to his desk. He pushed a button and soon Matron stepped into the office. "Ah my dear wife. Zell I don't exactly remember but if there's anyone in this world that would it's her. So go ahead my boy, ask her."  
  
Zell approached her and felt welcomed by her motherly voice. "Hello Zell, you always were a little shy around me, especially when you needed something." She said with a smile.  
  
Zell nervously scratched the back of his head. "I uh.was just wondering if you remembered how I got to the orphanage, and if I came with someone else?"  
  
He could see Matron think to herself and then she looked up at him and smiled. "Yes, yes I do Zell. I believe it was during the summer, both you and Selphie were brought to the orphanage on the same day by a woman who worked for social services. I remember you and her being quite inseparable for quite some time always sitting down by the beach watching the sun set. But I'm afraid I don't remember anything else. Was that of any help."  
  
Zell's eyes were lit up, "Yes, thank you very much Matron, do you remember the city where the social services main office was?"  
  
Matron looked up, yes I think it was the in Galbadia."  
  
Zell swung his fist in the air and headed out of the room saying his goodbyes as he flew past the doors. * I gotta find Selphie and tell her about this, and I guess I should look up Galbadia's city records and see if I can't figure this out. I can't believe what I just heard, Selphie's going to freak. *  
  
End Of Chapter 2  
  
A.N. Sorry about the reference to my other fics, that was the last one I swear. Anyways thanks for reading and remember to review my story please. There will be more soon I just have to figure out what will happen next, ideas are more than welcome and again thank you all for reviewing my story since it's the reviews that get me inspired to write more. Thanks again Dinchtbaby you're the best! 


	3. Lying in Rubble

Woohoooo! I'm back and living every minute of it. Just wanted to thank HeartOvaLion for his inspiring review hehe, and a warm shout to DinchtBaby, loving your stories don't ever stop writing. Your stories inspire me to write more. The idea of this story is the only thing I own, all characters of FF are property of Square Soft. Enjoy my fic and please do me a favor and review it would mean a lot to me.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Zell ran down the hall, every now and then he would trip over his feet but was quick to catch himself. Students would watch as he flew down the first hall on the second floor, as he would go from one classroom to another. When he reached the end of the hall students could hear him mumble to himself. * Gotta find Selphie, gotta find Selphie. I have to tell her what Matron said. She has to know. * He was too excited to really think about his surroundings and didn't even notice when he passed Fujin. She tried calling to him but by the time she spoke his name he was already in the elevator looking down at the floor, arms folded waiting for the elevator to go down. Fujin stood there in shock. He had never ignored her before, even when he ate his hotdogs. *Whatever is going through his head right now it must be important. * She thought to herself.  
  
Finally out of the elevator Zell jumped the stairs in front of him and turned to his right. Past the infirmary, onto the Quad. He ran thinking about his next move. Students were all over the place and it was hard to run through them. He knew students and even SeeD's weren't allowed to step onto the water fountain but he wanted to get to Selphie as soon as possible. He jumped onto it then did a no handed cartwheel, into a back flip so as to avoid the students walking up the stairs. Panting, knees shaking he finally made it to the Quad. But Selphie wasn't there. He looked around and grabbed a cadet walking by. By now they were pretty well known around the Garden and Zell could just about ask anybody about his friends and vise versa.  
  
"Have.*pant*.you seen.Selphie around?"  
  
The cadet looked at Zell instantly recognizing him and shook his head. "Um.no mister Dincht. I haven't, sorry." Was all he said then Zell let him go off on his way.  
  
Two hours later Zell finally gave up. He was on his way to his dorm when he heard Selphie's voice along with another. It was coming from her dorm witch was right next to his. Zell slapped himself on the forehead.  
  
"Of course of all the places why didn't I look here for her? Honestly how does Fujin put up with me ya'know." He said.  
  
He went straight to her door and opened it. * I wonder why she never locks it?* He thought as he walked in. When he looked up he saw Selphie walking into the other room while Quistis standing there almost naked obviously trying on some clothes when she saw him. She turned red on the spot and screamed at Zell.  
  
"Get out! Get out! Damnit Zell haven't you ever heard of knocking?!.Quit staring at me and get the hell out!" She screamed.  
  
Zell looked down at the ground and jumped out of the room as quick as he could shutting the door in front of him. But he couldn't stop laughing. From inside the room he could hear Quistis yelling at Selphie now. "Why don't you ever lock your door! This is the last time I ever let you talk me into trying on some of your clothes! Oh Hyne he's still out there isn't he? I can't face him now." Zell was on the ground rolling grabbing at his sides.  
  
Almost out of breath he could barely laugh. "Ha..ha! oh it hurts! Hyne help me I can't stop Hahaha!" He let out letting everyone hear.  
  
Eventually the door opened and Quistis stepped out and walked right up to Zell. Then she slapped him. "That's for not knocking." Then she walked away.  
  
Zell called out to her. "If it makes you feel any better I think your really hott!" He said with a huge smirk on his now red and swelling face.  
  
He looked back and saw Selphie standing in the doorway looking at him. "Geez Zell you have some timing. Awe but your face.let me get you an ice pack k?" She said warmly.  
  
Zell nodded his head and followed her to the small kitchen in her dorm. "So whatcha been doing?" She asked as she gently put the ice pack on Zell's face. He hissed when it touched his sore skin.  
  
"Nothing much just talking to Matron. I had this really weird dream last night. I think it was really more of a memory I had of when we were still at the orphanage." He said.  
  
Selphie eyes shot open. "Really well, what happened? In your dream I mean."  
  
Zell took her hand as he spoke. "Well basically it was of you and me sitting down on the rocks.and I think .well I'm really not sure yet but I in my dream I tell you about what happened to my parents ya'know before I was at the orphanage. And in the end .what I'm trying to say is.I think you and I might be related."  
  
Selphie's eyes narrowed. "You mean like we might be cousins?"  
  
Zell smiled. "No, I'm pretty sure it's much closer than that. I think you might be my sister."  
  
Selphie looked like she was going to pass out. "Are.y'you sure?  
  
He shook his head. "No, I'm not, but from what Matron told me, I think it might be true. But to really find out I have to go to Galbadia. There's a social services office there that I think might have the answers. I think we should go to find out."  
  
Selphie scooted back in her chair. "Do you really think we should? Shouldn't we tell the others first?"  
  
Zell stood up. "No , I don't want them to know until we know for sure. C'mon it'll be fun. Weren't you ever curious as to why we're so alike? Don't you want to know?"  
  
She looked down at the ground. "I'm not sure. I think I would have remembered something like this."  
  
Zell walked up to her. "Well, we have used GF's for a while now, and I think ever since we've stopped using them that his is where these dreams are coming from."  
  
She nodded her head. "Ok, I'll do it. I want to know now. Yippee! We can leave now and be back in time for dinner."  
  
Zell swung a fist in the air, "Booya! Alright then let's get going."  
  
They found the Ragnarok in the newly installed hangar of the Garden. They had stopped by Deling City so they were really close to where they had to be. Zell went to Fujin's computer and looked up where the office might be and printed out a map. Soon they were off.  
  
As they flew out Zell was running up and down the seats and shadow boxing. He couldn't believe this was happening. He could feel a void inside him start to fill slowly. At the moment he couldn't be happier. Selphie was bouncing up and down in her pilots seat. Zell's good mood was contagious, but she couldn't help but feel a little forced into this situation. Not that she would ever tell Zell that. But she just couldn't help saying no. Soon after an hour they had reached the city and flew over it. But there was one problem. The city was in ruins. Everything was burnt to a crisp and crumbled. They looked through the windows wondering what could have possible happened.  
  
"Hey, isn't that missile base we blew up near here?" Zell asked nervously rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"Yeah I think so.it can't be more than a mile from here, you don't think the explosion could have done this do you?"  
  
"I think it might have." He replied.  
  
They landed the Ragnarok and looked around the empty city, dead would have been a better way to put it. Zell brought out the map he printed out. And scoped what's left of the buildings. They were mostly made of stone all crumbled to the ground. A few of them still stood thought he didn't think they looked to sturdy. Then he saw it. He stopped dead in his tracks, Selphie was too busy looking at the buildings and bumped into Zell but he didn't move. They both stood there staring at the ruble in front of them.  
  
"How in Hyne's name am I going to find out the truth now?" He said.  
  
Selphie looked at the giant mass of rocks and glass that was in front of her. Then at Zell, she could see he was really hurt. His fists were clenched tightly. She could hear him saying the same thing over and over again.  
  
"What am I suppose to do now? What am I suppose to do now?"  
  
A.N. So what's he going to do now? Well your going to have to wait and find out. I promise it's not what you think he'll do. Anyways do me a huge favor and review my story so I can get inspired to write more. It's easy just click the little button on the bottom left. Thanks it means a lot. 


	4. If I Had The Power, I Would Have

Got a little inspiration and decided to write the next chapter as soon as I could. Just want to say hey to a friend, hope you like chapter and for reviewing all my other ones. And for those of you who haven't reviewed this story it would mean a lot to me if you did. That being said and all I own nothing but the idea of this story.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
They both stood there shocked. How could they not be? The one place where Zell and Selphie could find the answers they were looking for now was nothing more than dust, rock and a few standing walls. Something in Selphie told her to turn her back. That maybe it wasn't worth knowing the truth if this was what they had to see and go through. But not Zell He was determined to find tout what happened to his parents and his past. So he started walking into the building or rather what was left of it, and knocked down the door and found what looked like and office. He looked around himself not really sure of what to do. So he just stared digging. Selphie looked at the wall next to her noticing what little pieces of wallpaper were left and leaned against it.  
  
"Zell, what are you looking for?" She asked  
  
Zell kept digging as he answered her. "I'm not really sure. But I'll know it when I see it ya'know?"  
  
After about an hour of waiting Selphie was fed up watching Zell dig for some sign that he'll never find.  
  
She looked over at Zell and just could take standing there doing nothing. So with her hands on her hips foot tapping away she spoke out. "Damnit Zell you've been digging forever! You're not going to find anything. Can we please just go home now?"  
  
He looked up at her. "I can't give up, I just.can't."  
  
"Can't or wont?!" She said back angrily.  
  
"..Both." He said and started digging again.  
  
"She walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "Just let it go, we don't need to know."  
  
As soon as she finished that sentence his head shot up. "Maybe you don't need to know but I do. I don't know why but I just do."  
  
She backed away from his and turned towards the wall mumbling to herself. "Hyne, he's being so stubborn, He just being stupid. I've never seen him like this. I don't like it."  
  
There was a low rumble heard, then suddenly the was Selphie was looking at fell on her. She screamed out.  
  
"Aaaaahhhhh!."  
  
Zell shot up and ran over to her. The wall completely covered her up. "Selphie!!.SELPHIE!!!!!" He kept shouting but she didn't answer back.  
  
"ZELPHIE!!" He shouted again. * Oh Hyne no, please no don't let her die. Not like this. Please Hyne. * He thought to himself. He didn't want to punch through the wall directly for fear of hurting Selphie. So he plunged his hands into the ground and rocks around it. Over and over trying to dig her out. Through rock and wood again and again. Until his hands gloves were torn and his hands bloody. Soon he finally got a good enough grip on the wall to pick it up and move it. Selphie lay there knocked out. There was a small space between the wall and the ground. * It must have just knocked her out on its way down. Oh thank Hyne. * He picked her up deciding that his past could wait and got her to Balamb Garden as fast as he could. He wasn't the best pilot however and nearly crashed while landing. No one really knew what was going on and just watched as Zell took Selphie to the infirmary.  
  
Dr. Kadowaki took her in of course and told him to wait in the lobby. Eventually the rest of the gang showed up and he explained the situation to them. They all had a disappointed look on their faces, he knew it was because they were sad about what happened to Selphie but he felt so responsible for the whole thing that he got up and left. Knowing either Rinoa or Quistis would stay with her he didn't think twice and just left. He walked around for about an hour, then finally Fujin found him sitting down with his arms around his head.  
  
"You feeling..better.now?" She asked as she sat down next to him.  
  
She didn't notice it before but he was crying. His eyes were red and puffy and as he looked into her soft always-forgiving face he broke down again wrapping his arms around her waist. "I didn't mean to.*sniff, .I'm so sorry, everyone." She held him close wanting to protect him. She knew he always thought of himself as a good noble person. She could only imagine the shame and guilt he felt for his moment of selfishness.  
  
A few hours later Selphie finally woke up from her, "nap" as Dr. Kadowaki colorfully put it. Although she was a little surprised when she looked over to see of all people Fujin sitting in the chair next to her asleep. She looked out the window and saw Squall talking to the good Doctor then leave the room. Selphie felt tired and decided she would just go back to sleep and thank Fujin later for staying with her. Later that night Selphie and Fujin were woken up by Matron walking into the room. They both looked at her a little confused as to why they would be there.  
  
"Hi ladies, I just wanted to check up on Selphie, I didn't mean to wake you two up." She said .  
  
"I'm fine thank you Matron, how is Zell doing?" Selphie said not realizing Fujin could have told her the same. But Matron answered anyway.  
  
"He's doing ok, he feels a little guilty about what happened. You understand. And besides you don't hold anything against him do you Selphie?"  
  
Selphie shook her head, "No of course not. It was a freak accident. But, I've never seen him like that before he just wouldn't let it go. I wonder why?" She asked looking at Fujin. She shook her head. "Don't know..he won't.talk to ..me about it."  
  
Matron jumped in. "I think I may be able to answer that." She said pulling up a chair. Fujin and Selphie both looked at her intently.  
  
"When Zell and Selphie came to the orphanage, I looked after you both as though you were my own children. As I did with all the children that came to my orphanage. But I think Zell's memories of his parents kept him distant from everyone for a while. But this isn't the first time Zell asked me about his parents." Selphie and Fujin sat up from their seats. Giving Matron their undivided attention. " The first time he woke up in the middle of the night and came to me thinking I was his mother. But I didn't think that would be right of me so I told him what happened to them. At least from what the social worker told me. I couldn't and still can't imagine the pain he must have felt. For a child to lose his parents and then his very memory of them. He began to cry as I held him. And then a few years later right before he was adopted, He started having the same dream again. He forgotten or rather I think his mind blocked it out." She sighed heavily. "To see the fire in him be blown out like that over and over again. I sometimes think he was cursed to relive that moment some many times. Hyne, he would beg me as he cried in my arms. "Make it untrue, make it all untrue." He would say. I may not be a sorceress anymore. And I know I was never that powerful. But I'll tell you this, and I never even told this to Cid. But if I had the power, I would have."  
  
"So you think if he finds out for himself he'll finally be able to put it behind him?" Selphie asked.  
  
"That's what I think, I think he feels he'll be able fill a void in himself if he finds them. And anyone that might be related to him. Well.I've kept you two up long enough. I'll see you two in the morning. It's good to know your ok Selphie." And with that Matron left the two  
  
Selphie turned to Fujin, "Hey, you wanna come with me and Zell to find our what happened to his parents?"  
  
Fujin smiled at her. "Sure."  
  
Selphie started bouncing up and down on her bed. "Ok yippee! This is going to be fun."  
  
Fujin looked at her wondering if she was going to make it through this. I mean being around Zell was one thing, but having Selphie's super hyper ness all the time? She didn't really know what to think. Now that Selphie was better Fujin stood up to go to her room when Selphie called back to her.  
  
"You sure you wanna come with us?" She asked  
  
"Fujin nodded her head. "Yes." She answered.  
  
"Okies then." Selphie replied back then tucked herself and closed her eyes. The next morning was going to be the beginning of something wild.  
  
A/N. Well how did you like the chapter. I can't thank those of you who have reviewed my story enough and for those of you who haven't. It would mean a lot to me if you did since it's the reviews that inspire me to write more. So don't be shy and click the little button on the bottom left. :D 


	5. Shot Through The Heart

Been a while hasn't it? Sorry about that but if it's of any consolation it was because I was helping out Dinchtbaby write the final chapter to Melted Ice Queen. So if you haven't checked out yet do yourself a favor and read and review it. But enough about me lets get on with the story.  
  
Fujin woke up that morning in her dorm, the events of the previous night were running around her head. Part of her still couldn't believe what she heard, the impossible sadness of Zell's childhood was ten times anything she ever suffered. All she wanted to do right now was hold him, tell him every thing was going to be ok and that she would help him find out what happened to his parents. She finished dressing herself and headed towards her door when she heard someone knocking on it. She hated using her voice when she didn't have to so instead of telling who ever it was to go away she decided to see who it was.  
  
She slowly opened the door and saw a tall blonde figure in front of her. It was Seifer. Fujin was a little surprised to see him since they usually talked in front of the cafeteria just before Zell and the others arrived.  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry for just barging in like that but I need to talk to you." He said  
  
Seifer never said he was sorry about anything. So this must have been important. She looked over at the clock and saw she had a bit of a while before she would go see Zell, so she walked over and sat down on the edge of her bed so busy thinking about what Seifer had to say that she forgot to close her door.  
  
"What...is it?" She asked looking directly at him.  
  
"We've known each other for a long time now, and although I didn't always treat you like it, you really are my best friend. When we got kicked out of Balamb Garden you stuck by me and held me up when I couldn't stand on my own. That really meant a lot to me and well I guess you just really don't know what you have until it's gone." He said, but during the whole statement he made he didn't once make eye contact with Fujin. And she didn't know what point he was trying to make other than that maybe he missed not having her around as much anymore.  
  
"And?.." she replied.  
  
"And," he started again, "I realize now that the reason I've missed you so much is because I love you." Those few words blew Fujin's eye open. She never had any idea that he felt this way. Although at one point long ago she had always hoped. For now she stood there with her eye shot open and mouth hanging. What do you tell someone you've wanted to love all your life that you can't be with them the same way they do. And this was Seifer, he never ever opened up like this. She thought. Finally Seifer broke the silence.  
  
"Come away with me." he proposed. "Some where far away where we can be happy and alone. You know you've always wanted this, you can't tell me you haven't." he said.  
  
"But..I'm...With Zell." she said back quietly as she looked down at the floor.  
  
"You can't possibly tell me that you feel the same way for him as you did for me. Those feelings never go away. C'mon you and I were meant to be together. This is our chance to finally have what we always wanted..each other." He replied.  
  
Then he pulled her in close to him and bent down to kiss her. Although she was with Zell, Fujin always wondered what would happen if Seifer ever got over himself and did want to be with her. She had never really known happiness until she was with Zell, but part of her knew that she would always love Seifer too even if it were for only a little while.  
  
Zell was walking down the hallway towards Fujin's dorm. Like always with a bit of a cocky strut he bounced his way through the hallways thinking about what Selphie just told him. That girl was unbelievable. He thought. First she nearly tackles him when he goes to visit her in the infirmary and then she tells him that she can't wait until they get going and find out what happened to their parents. How the hell does she always find the energy to cheer every body up? He asked himself. The questions burned in his head like a giant torch until he saw Fujin's door. He slowed his walk when he realized that her door was open. He took a deep breath and rushed into the room ready for whatever had happened or rather, was happening. Quickly the very breath he just inhaled was blown right out of him as he saw his world collapse in front of his eyes.  
  
Fujin felt Zell's presence and looked to see him looking as though he had been shot, or worse defeated. Seeing him look at her with such hurt in his eyes almost ripped her into a thousand pieces. She never thought she would ever see him look at her that way. She couldn't bear it. But it was too late. Zell had already left the room in tears with only to leave Fujin and Seifer standing with pale faces.  
  
The morning was cold but Zell didn't care. He ran out of Balamb Garden and headed into the planes in front of him, tears in his eyes and fists tightly clenched he kept running as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't even realize it had started to rain. Into the nearby woods he ran punching his way through thorns and anything living or dead that got in his way. He just had to keep running. Finally he reached a cliff and stood there praying to all the gods that his torment would just end there. But it didn't. He pounded his fist into the muddy ground over and over again hoping the pain in his hands would over shadow the one in his heart. And slowly he stopped pounding his fists and brought his hands to his face and cried, he couldn't even feel the warmth of his tears as they rolled off his cheeks. So there he stayed on his knees and cried.  
  
"Oh Hyne just kill me now..just..let me die." Said in between sobs and then cried again. 


	6. Torment

Hey everybody, I'm back! Sorry I took so long to get this chapter up I just didn't think anyone was reading it but you have all proved me wrong and so the story will go on. Once again I don't own anything FF related except the idea of this story and I want to thank my reviewers once again since it's you guys that keep this story going. You guys are the best.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Zell sat there in the rain thinking to himself: "I wish this feeling would just go away. I wish I could never feel pain. I wish."  
  
He sat there trying his best not to think about what he had just seen. When he saw the two of them kissing he felt his heart stop. The pain was too much to bear. The best thing that had ever happened to him had her arms wrapped around the one person he hated the most. The one person he was never able to beat. He closed his eyes and felt the cold wind blow over him. At that moment he looked down at the cliff in front of him, for that one moment he wanted all the pain and screaming inside him to end.. For himself to just fade away. And then he heard footsteps; he looked up and saw Fujin looking at him. The worried look on her face made him feel warm but then he thought about Seifer again. Just the thought of it almost got him crying again. So he picked himself up and tried to leave when she called out to him.  
  
"Zell.. don't.. go." She said with her arm reaching out to him.  
  
He stopped walking but didn't turn to face her. "So what happened? Was I not good enough for you anymore?  
  
"Oh no.. Zell.. I." Fujin got out when Zell cut her off.  
  
"Ya'know for the as long as we've been together all I cared about was your happiness, and what I could do to keep you that way. But if I wasn't doing that, then you should have said something. And let me know.. that you didn't want to be with me anymore."  
  
After that he walked away into the dark, he didn't really know where he was going he just couldn't face Fujin at the moment. The rain had finally stopped, he took off his jacket witch was now soaked, and continued walking. He eventually found a tree that had fallen over and sat on it. The clouds had parted enough to let the moonlight reflect off the beads of water covering everything around and thus illuminating the area around Zell. Behind him he heard a twig snap. Almost instantly he turned around to see a girl and a yellow dress standing in front of him. Zell looked down at his watch. It was only 10:30pm.  
  
"Jeez, I've only been gone an hour and already there are people looking for Me." he said with a frown.  
  
Selphie walked over and sat down next to him. "I was trying to find you in the Garden, as soon as I got into the main hall I saw you running out the front doors, so I followed. You want to tell me what happened?"  
  
Zell let out a sigh. "She was kissing him." He said with his head hung down.  
  
Selphie instantly knew whom he was talking about, who else would make him act like this. "Why would she do that? She loves you, I know she does you can see it in the way she looks at you. Are you sure that's what you saw?"  
  
Zell started shaking his head as he answered. "I saw her door open.. I thought maybe she might be in trouble. So I braced myself and rushed in.. That's when I saw them kissing."  
  
Selphie could feel his torment, and put her arm around him. She didn't expect he would hug her back. "Tell me you can make all this better." He said, "Make it all untrue."  
  
She hugged him tighter then whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry, but I can't. You know what you have to do. You have to talk to her.. There has to be more to this, there just has to be.. I mean you love her right?" Zell nodded his head, "Then you have to find a way to talk to her. See how she really feels about Seifer."  
  
At the sound of his name Zell shot up, a burning rage growing in him. "Seifer" he growled under his breath. He looked down at Selphie and thanked her. Then he started walking towards the Garden. Selphie hated seeing Zell so hurt. To know that some one so close to her and so incredibly noble was betrayed the way he was made her angry. She got up off the tree she was sitting on and started walking. As she made her way up to the Garden she saw Fujin sitting down in front of the front gate, a blank almost cold look on her face. Selphie walked over to her.  
  
"How could you do that to him?" she asked.  
  
Fujin looked up a little surprised She was talking to her in such a harsh tone.  
  
"What?" she asked raising her eyebrow at Selphie.  
  
At that point Selphie almost started to yell.  
  
"You know damn well what I'm talking about, I'm talking about how you and Seifer kissed."  
  
Fujin's eye widened in shock, how did she know? Was all that was going through her head. Then Selphie started up again.  
  
"He loves you more than anything! Everything he does is for you. I mean do you even realize that he would give you the world, his life, his soul, every thing that he is.. Just for you! And you then where do you get off kissing Seifer?!"  
  
Fujin tried to interrupt her. "But he." was all she got out when Selphie slapped her. Instantly Fujin put her hand to her cheek.  
  
"Don't even, you have no right to ever treat him that way..Shame on him for loving you so much."  
  
And with that she walked into the Garden feeling satisfied that Fujin got her point.  
  
Zell was on his way to Seifer's room. He saw Rajin standing in front of his room like a guard.  
  
"What's he doing in there that he needs you to guard the door Rajin?"  
  
Rajin looked down at the small blonde. "He's in there packing, apparently he and Fujin are going away on some trip."  
  
Zell looked at the door then at Rajin. "Rajin..please don't try to stop me." He said calmly.  
  
Rajin let out a heavy sigh. "I gotta watch my boy's back ya'know. Besides it' not like you could get through me anyways."  
  
Zell then grabbed the wooden rail next to them and tore it off like a paper towel Rajin didn't even get a chance to block the wooden slab when it hit him, and knocked him out in one blow. Zell then dropped the wooden rail next to Rajin and proceeded to open Seifer's door.  
  
"Sorry Rajin, but I tried to warn ya."  
  
As he opened the door he saw Seifer putting away the last of his clothes in to a giant suitcase and made sure that when he closed the door it was loud enough to get his attention. It worked. Seifer looked up at Zell with that same smirk he always had as he zipped up his bag.  
  
"I figured I'd see you sooner or later." He said looking at Zell. "You must obviously know by now how me and Fujin feel about each other so why don't you just get out of our way before you get hurt."  
  
Zell fists clenched as Seifer talked. Every word he spoke just made the rage in him roar. "You can't have her." He said slowly.  
  
Seifer started mocking him. "Oh has cry baby Zell finally learned how to talk? What are you going to do you know you can't take me."  
  
Zell had finally had enough and lunged at Seifer with every thing he had screaming out, "You can't have her!! I don't care if you stronger I will always be ten times the man you are!!"  
  
Seifer didn't really think Zell would try to take him and got hit hard with Zell's right upper cut, he then followed up with a number of kicks and punch combo's that knocked Seifer to the ground. As Zell stood above him Seifer picked up his gunblade and started swinging it at Zell. But it wasn't so easy to hit him. With every swing that he took Zell just blocked it with his iron-knuckled gloves. Zell was use to fighting people bigger than he was and knew how to gain the advantage and getting in close to Seifer and make his swings utterly useless, while striking him with small jabs. Eventually he pulled Seifer up to his face.  
  
"What do you have that I don't!? What could she possible see in you? How could you be so cold as to take the one ray of light that I had in my life?."  
  
"Guess she was just tired of being with a boy and decided she wanted to be with a real man."  
  
Zell picked him up and threw him across the room, that last comment sent him over the edge. He picked up Seifer and threw him again. Just as he was about to throw him a third time Fujin walked into the room.  
  
"Zell.. What have.. You done?"  
  
Zell looked down at the bruised and beaten Seifer who still had that smirk on his face, and then at the room that lay in pieces.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said and then walked out of the room to ashamed to look at Fujin. When he rounded the corner Fujin went to check on Seifer. She helped pick him up and lay him on his bed. He looked up at her.  
  
"So are you ready to go then?" he asked.  
  
She shook her head. "I can't.."  
  
Seifer had a look of confusion on his face. "What do you mean you can't? you can't possible be telling me that you feel the same way for him as you do for me."  
  
"No." She replied back, "I love... him..more."  
  
Seifer looked at her and knew she was serious. Hell she was always serious.  
  
"But what about me?" He asked.  
  
"She ran her hand through his hair. "I can't... be with...you..the way..you want..me to. I love..him. But.. I don't...know how.. To get...him back."  
  
End Of chapter 6 


	7. Redemption

Sorry I took so damn long to get this next chapter up, I would get inspired then forget all about this story, sorry. Anybody check out my little drawing? What did you all think? Anyways here's the next chapter I hope you all enjoyed it and don't forget to review it ok? Thanks everybody!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
The next morning Zell had gone down to the Quad, with his head hung down he couldn't keep the thoughts from the last day from repeating. After throwing Seifer around and then seeing the look on Fujin's face after she walked in on him was tearing him up inside. He didn't really hate Seifer; he was just so tired of being alone. He couldn't stop thinking about how happy Fujin made him when she said she loved him. All he ever wanted was to not be alone. Sure he had friends and people liked him...but he had lost count of how many times he had looked up at his ceiling at night alone, and how his body hurt when he saw all the couples walking around in Balamb Garden. He ached for some one to hold him. And every time he saw any one of those couples he hated them for what they had. What topped it all off was that he was tired of hearing his voice in his head. Then he thought about Fujin again. All his pain had been gone since he was with her. Her smile always made him forget about the loneliness that he had before she had come into his life.  
  
Selphie had just finished with her duties as commissioner for the Balamb party committee. She was on her way up the stairs towards the water fountain when Zell walked past her not even acknowledging her presence. She looked at him and watched as he went over to the newly constructed balcony and sit with his legs hanging over the edge.  
  
"Zell, is everything ok? ...did you talk to Fujin" She asked as she put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Zell just sat there looking down at his feet. "I think I just make things worse." He said to himself.  
  
Selphie sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you wanna talk about it?"  
  
Zell let out a deep sigh, "I went to confront Seifer, and then I threw him across his room a few times...Fujin walked in...Hyne I couldn't even look at her. She must hate me now for what I did to Seifer. How did I manage to screw up this badly...no wonder she doesn't want to be with me anymore...who would?"  
  
Selphie put her arms around his stomach and put her head up to the curve in his neck. "Your wrong, anyone woman would be lucky to have you. If she can't see what a great person you are then she doesn't deserve to be with you."  
  
"Thanks Selphie." Zell replied. "You know what I hate most about this? No matter how this ends I'll still feel like I'm the one that loses." He looked up at the sky and tired wiping the tears away from his eyes but there were just too many.  
  
Fujin had finally decided to get out of her room and get something to eat. She couldn't stop thinking at how horrible she had made things between herself and the one person she loved most. She knew Zell better than anyone else...yet she couldn't imagine how much pain he must be in. All she wanted was to be with him and to let him know how sorry she was. But she had no idea how to even begin to apologize for what she did.  
  
As she sat in the cafeteria she kept thinking to herself.*How do I make up for what I did? Is there even anything that I can do?* She thought about it over and over again, and she tried to imagine how she would feel if the situation was reversed. What could someone do if they were to hurt her the way she did Zell? She sat there looking off into nothing not realizing her breakfast was already cold. But the more she thought about it the more hopeless she felt. *If someone had completely betrayed me there wouldn't be anything they could do to get my trust back.* The thought of not being able to make up for what she'd done to Zell got to her and she started to cry.  
  
It was nearly sun set and Zell was still sitting on the edge of the balcony. He decided that he shouldn't spend any time in his room or else he might never come out, but he just didn't have the will do to anything else anymore. Trying to find his parents or to even know of Selphie was his sister or not didn't matter to him...nothing did. He didn't want to train; he didn't want to even breathe at this point. So he just sat there and watched another sun set alone.  
  
After Fujin left the cafeteria she went to go check out how Seifer was doing in the infirmary, Dr. Kadowaki said he only had a few broken ribs and the rest of him was just badly bruised, but nothing he wouldn't be able to get over soon enough. Fujin couldn't believe that Zell was able to take on Seifer as well as he did. *Guess Seifer must have said something that really got to him.* She thought to herself. She got Seifer out of the bed he was in and managed to get him to his room in one piece. After a quick goodbye she walked towards the direction of a particular brunette. *If anyone knows how I can get Zell to forgive me it's Selphie...I just hope she doesn't try to hit me again.*  
  
She walked down the end of the hall and took the last turn that would lead her to Selphie's room. She walked up to the door and summoned up all her courage to knock on the door.  
  
"Who is it?" She heard coming from inside the room.  
  
"It's...Fujin." She answered back as confident as she could sound.  
  
The door opened slightly and Fujin could see Selphie peeking at her.  
  
"What do you want Fujin?" She asked bitterly  
  
Fujin looked down at the floor as she tried to do something she'd always hated doing, asking for help.  
  
"I'm sorry...I love...Zell...I need...Your...Help." She said looking at Selphie.  
  
"Are you serious? If this is just some way for you to hurt Zell again, so help me I'll..." Selphie started, but Fujin quickly shook her head at her.  
  
"Honest...I love him." She said as she started to cry. "Will...You...Help me?"  
  
Selphie looked down at the ground biting her bottom lip. *She does sound sincerer. Maybe I should help her get back with Zell. But he's so hurt I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't do something to help him out.*  
  
She looked up at Fujin with her big brown eyes full of eagerness. "Ok I'll help you, but I'm not really sure what to do...but don't worry it'll come to me!"  
  
She stepped out of her room and took Fujin by the hand running into the hallway. "But if we're going to do this right you're going to need more help than me. We need Rinoa."  
  
End Of Chapter 7  
  
AN. Ok so I'm back now I'm really sorry I haven't updated enough but to be honest I'm really stumped I haven't figured out how to get Fujin and Zell back together so to all of you who are reading any and all suggestions are welcome and I'll dedicate the rest of my story to the person who helps me out. Thanks guys and don't forget to RXR thanks again. :D 


	8. Tourment

A.N.: Hey people I hope everyone's new school year kicked in with out any problems and I hope that all you're all having a great time writing and reviewing more fanfics. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this next chapter any and all comments are not just welcome but encouraged. Enjoy  
  
Chapter 7  
  
(Knock, Knock)  
"Who's there?" Rinoa asked as she poked her head out of her bathroom.  
  
It was late in the afternoon and Rinoa had just gotten out of the shower after she had finished working out with Squall in the training room. They always worked out together twice a week for about and hour and a half to always make sure they were in good shape for whatever mission they would have to do next. But at this hour she wasn't expecting any visitors.  
  
"Its me and Fujin." Selphie answered.  
  
"Oh, c'mon in the door's unlocked." Rinoa mumbled while finishing getting dressed.  
  
Selphie bounced into the room while Fujin timidly followed. They both sat down on the edge of Rinoa's bed.  
  
"Hey Rin, hope we didn't come in at a bad time. But you let us in already so we're not going to leave even if it is," Selphie giggled. "We need your help."  
  
"Sure thing Selphie, what can I do for you guys." Rinoa said with a pleasant smile.  
  
Fujin lowered her head as Selphie explained.  
  
"It's Fujin here, as I'm sure you know she and Zell broke up a while ago and I need your help to get them back together." Selphie said as she bounced on Rinoa's bed, causing Fujin to almost fall of the edge.  
  
"Yeah, I was sad to hear the news, you two seemed so perfect for each other. And Zell seems to be taking the breakup pretty badly." Rinoa said as she sat down in front of Selphie and Fujin.  
  
Fujin looked up at her with a wide eye, "You...saw him?"  
  
Rinoa nodded her head.  
  
"Uh huh, he seemed really broken up yesterday when I saw him in the cafeteria, he didn't even touch the hot dogs he bought." Rinoa explained.  
Fujin started clenching her fists hard at the thought of how hurt Zell was, she felt like it was all her fault. It wasn't until Selphie put her hand on Fujin's fist that she snapped back into the conversation.  
  
"We'll get him back, Fujin I promise." Selphie said trying to comfort her. Fujin just nodded her head.  
  
Rinoa stepped in, "Well if I'm going to help you out Fujin I need to know what happened between the two of you."  
  
"Affirmative." Fujin answered back.  
  
**48 seconds later**  
  
"And then...Selphie...and I...came here." Fujin said assertively.  
  
"Wow, and you two haven't talked since?" Rinoa asked.  
  
Fujin shook her head.  
  
Rinoa looked rolled her eyes thoughtfully to the left. "Ok here's how this'll work. I'm going to go and talk to Zell and see how he's feeling, about you and to maybe see if I can talk him into meeting with you. If that doesn't work we'll make it look like you two met by accident."  
  
They all nodded in unison and after an hour of more girl talk Fujin and Selphie said good night to Rinoa, made their way back to their separate rooms and prepared for tomorrow. Fujin, happier to have the help of Rinoa and Selphie slept a little easier that night.  
  
Zell was on his way to his room after a brief stop at the library, he was going there on a daily basis for at least an hour to get away from things. It was always so quiet and no one ever interrupted him when he was deep in thought. Well, no one except for the library girl that worked there. She sometimes visited him, although he never really knew why she always seemed so nervous when she was around him. He turned the corner and could see his dorm room just a few feet away when felt some one grab him by the arm and pull him hard from his path.  
  
"Hey chicken-wuss. How's the lonely life treating ya?" Seifer said menacingly.  
  
"What wrong Seifer, does your ass miss my foot kicking it?" Zell said with a pouty look on his face.  
  
Seifer scoffed as he looked down at the ground for a moment. "I just wanted to let you know that I dumped Fujin."  
  
Zell's eyes shot open. "What did you say?"  
  
"Yeah, I got tired of her and realized she wasn't really worth my time. I just thought you would like to know. Oh yeah and I was curious as to weather or not she decided to rebound with you. Has she yet?" He said with his classic smirk.  
  
Zell curled his lip and rolled his eyes down and to the right. "No, I haven't talked or seen her in weeks.  
  
Seifer's smile continued to grow, "Oh really, well then I guess she has better taste than I thought after all. Oh well I'm bored of you now. I think I'll go train for a little while with Rajin. See ya round chicken- wuss." And with that Seifer shoved Zell off with his shoulder and started making his way towards Rajin's dorm.  
  
*He, now the next time Chicken-wuss talks to my Fujin he'll make a total ass of himself and she'll want nothing to do with him and come back to me where she belongs.* Seifer thought to himself.  
  
When Zell reached his door finally he found a note there with his name on it. He opened it up as he opened the door to his singles dorm. He pulled up a chair and sat on it with the back of the chair facing his chest. The letter read:  
  
Hey Zell, I can see you're feeling pretty down and I want to talk to you about whats wrong and maybe see if I could help you with whatever your problems are. Meet me at the water fountain towards the Quad if you wanna talk. I'll be waiting for you there at 8:00pm. Don't keep me waiting too long ok? See ya there.  
  
Your Friend,  
Rinoa.  
Zell looked over at his clock and saw it was 7:55. He decided it would be rude of him to leave Rinoa waiting for him if she was concerned with him this much.  
  
"Oh well I mean, what could it hurt to just talk to her about it? I haven't really spoken to anyone since.." Zell sighed hard and then turned off his lights and took out his keys to lock his door on his way out of his dorm.  
  
He walked with a quicker pace that he usually did so that he made sure not to keep Rinoa waiting. As he made his way down the last hallway he saw Rinoa at the bottom of the stairs sitting on the edge of the fountain.  
  
"Awe jeez, way to go and make her wait for you Zell, couldn't you have taken just a little longer to get down here." He mumbled to himself.  
  
Rinoa saw him come down the stairs and waved to him as he got closer to her. "Hey Zell how are you?" She kindly said to him.  
  
"I'm doing ok I guess. I dunno I mean, I've been spending every day at the library around 4 o' clock to try and think things through and see if I can make things better but so for to no avail. What about you?" He said as he sat down next to her.  
  
"I'm doing good, thins with me and Squall are going great. We're both really happy together. I heard about you and Fujin and just wanted to make sure you were ok." She said as she put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"I just don't know how to feel anymore." He said as he let out a sigh. "On one hand I miss her terribly, but every time I think about how she hurt me I feel like a part of me just keeps dying." He turned to look at Rinoa, "What would you do, if you were in my place and you caught Squall with another woman. And he looked happier with her than he ever did with you. What would you do?"  
  
Rinoa thought hard for a while to try to imagine what it would be like to lose Squall. She almost started to cry. "Um...I don't know what I would do. I really couldn't imagine my world without him anymore."  
  
"Yeah well, the only thing I know for sure is that I don't want to feel this way anymore. Maybe if I found her with someone else, why of all people did it have to be Seifer? How could she feel anything for him. How could she love him after all the pain he's caused me. It would be like Squall falling in love with Ultimacia after her possessing you." He said bitterly  
  
Rinoa slouched down and rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't imagine the pain you must be going through Zell, but I promise you it will get better in time. But do you think it would make things better if you tried to talk things out with Fujin? I mean you still love her right?"  
  
Zell looked up at the night sky. He prayed to the gods so that he could get out his next sentence with out breaking down. *Sniff* "I don't know, my body aches when I'm not holding her. I want to try to find a way to be with her, but I don't know if I can forgive her...I'm sorry Rin, I should go." He quickly got up and started heading back towards his dorm again.  
  
Rinoa called out to him. "Zell wait." But he was already gone.  
  
Selphie and Fujin made there way up to Rinoa, they were both sitting at the stage watching the two from afar. The look on Rinoa's face didn't fill them with any hope.  
  
"So how did it go Rinnie?" Selphie asked timidly  
  
"Not so good, Seph, but I think if he sees Fujin again and they talk he might be able to stop being so stubborn and swallow his pride and take her back." She said as she stood up and brushed herself off. "I think I have an idea, he said he's been spending time at the library every day around 4 o' clock. I think if he bumps into Fujin...it'll be quiet there and chances are he'll stay calm in a place like that. I think it could work if you two just get together there. What do you two think?"  
  
Fujin nodded her head assertively. "Affirmative...thank you...for...talking to...him."  
  
Selphie started bouncing up and down, "Yaay, you two are getting back together. That's soo great!"  
  
"Don't get so happy yet Selphie, hopefully everything will go well tomorrow." Rinoa cautiously said.  
  
The next day Fujin prepared herself for her big chance, she looked at herself one last time in the mirror(something that was still kind of new to her) and made her way down to the library. There she met up with Rinoa and Selphie, they told her Zell had already been in there for about a half hour. With one last thumbs up from the two Fujin took one final deep breath before she walked in.  
  
She saw in the back standing next to one of the bookshelves. She snuck up behind him and pretended to be holding a book in front of her face as she "accidentally" bumped into him.  
  
"Oh...sorry." She began. Then she tried to looked surprised as he raised her head to see Zell staring at her.  
  
"Umm...it's quite alright." He said. "So how are things?" he asked in a monotonous tone.  
  
"I'm ok...you?" She asked trying to keep her cool. She summoned up all her courage and was able to get out the seven words she was hoping Zell wanted to hear.  
  
"I want...to ...be with...you again." She said  
  
"Fujin, don't...really I'm still not sure how..." He started but then for the first time Fujin interrupted him.  
  
"Are you...saying you...don't miss...me? That...your body...doesn't miss...my touch? That...my love...didn't mean...anything...to you?" She said ready to cry.  
  
Zell started clenching his fists. "I do miss you Fujin, with every thing that I am, but you ripped my heart out. I just can't pretend that nothing ever happened. Besides how do I know your not just going to run back to Seifer after you get bored of being with me?"  
  
"Idiot." She said with a hurt look, "I want...to be...with you."  
  
"No, your settling for me, Seifer told me what happened between you two." Zell blurted out.  
  
"What?!" Fujin said with confused look on her face.  
  
Zell started again. "I don't want to be with you just because you're on the rebound. You may have ripped out my heart but I still have my pride.  
  
Fujin started shaking her head. "No...that's...not true."  
  
"Then look at me the way you do to him. Look at me with the same longing in your eyes. Tell me you didn't feel anything for him when you were kissing him." He said pleadingly.  
  
Fujin looked at him hurt, she did feel something for Seifer when they kissed but she couldn't lie to Zell not now...he would know if she did. She slumped her head down and replied.  
  
"I...am looking...at you...the way...I look...at him..."  
  
"And?..." He asked dreading what she would say next.  
  
"I felt...something...when we...but..."  
  
Zell cut her off. "Enough."  
  
"But..." Fujin tried to get out.  
  
"I said enough! This is too hard, I can't do this. I use to think you would never do something like this to me. Whenever I look at you, even now...all I can see is how happy you looked while kissing him. I keep saying to myself that it's better this way. That I'm better off without you, but in the end I'm still staring up at my ceiling knowing that I'm the one that lost because your not feeling sorry that you lost me. Instead I'm the one who's screwed because all I can do is think about how much it hurts to not have you, how much it hurts to have lost you." He said holding back his tears.  
  
At this point they had the attention of everyone in the library, even Rinoa and Selphie were there watching them. Fujin was crying as she absorbed all of Zell's words. She kept shaking her head in protest.  
  
"You're...wrong...I'm trying...to make...things better." She got out with tears streaming down her face.  
  
Zell stepped back from her. "Well it's not good enough. I keep thinking what I did to drive you to him...how did I failed you? How am I not better than him?! How could you just give into him with out thinking about what you were doing us?"  
  
Then he turned his back to her. "How could you forget about me so quickly."  
  
"When...I kissed...Seifer...what I...felt...for him..." she tried to say, but it was too late Zell was already walking towards the door.  
  
Fujin broke down and was on her knees crying harder than she'd ever cried before. In between sobs she kept saying. "It...didn't compare...to how...you make...me feel."  
  
A.N. Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it's taking me so long to get his out. I'm still trying to figure out an ending so if any of you have one in mind I'd be more than happy to hear it. Don't forget to review and let me know what you all think. I'll have the next chapter up soon. :D 


	9. We Need To Talk

A.N. Hey everybody, (hi Dr. Nick.) Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up I got a severe case of writers block and thanks to a friend I was able to get a few ideas to help me get out this chapter. So this chapter is dedicated to Sarah, and if anyone has any ideas as to how they would like this story to end, feel free and encouraged to let me know.  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
Zell wok up in his bed again. He looked over to the left side of his bed. Every time he woke up it was like he had forgotten that he and Fujin had broken up, but when he looked over to the side of the bed that Fujin slept on only to see it empty, it would all come back to him. The first few times it happened he just dismissed it, but it was more prevalent now. He let out a big sigh and then he pulled himself out of bed. He showered and dressed himself. Then he felt like getting some breakfast. Zell looked at his clock. It was only seven thirty in the morning. The cafeteria wouldn't be open until eight. He didn't realize it but it had been several days since he had left his room. After his devastatingly public argument with Fujin he went straight to his room and broke down yet again. He was so tired of feeling weak and alone, he had just about punched out every mirror in his room; he was so sick of having to look at himself. Finally Zell decided it was time he left his room and faced the world. He grabbed his jacket off of the floor and took a deep breath as he turned the knob on his door. He made sure to keep facing the door until he locked it. Then as he took his very first step his foot got caught on something and he fell head first to the ground.  
  
"What the?" he blurted out.  
  
He looked down and saw a familiar silver haired girl rubbing her head.  
  
"Idiot." She said as she stood up and straightened herself out.  
  
Zell picked himself up, "What are you doing here Fujin?" he asked while attempting to tower over her head.  
  
Fujin picked a piece of lint off of her shirt. "Following...you." She said.  
  
Sell had a confused look on his face. "What, you're stalking me now?"  
  
Fujin nodded her head. "Until...you take...me back."  
  
Zell shook his head as he started walking towards the cafeteria. "This is ridiculous."  
  
But as he started walking he noticed Fujin was right next to him walking rather proudly as though she couldn't be more satisfied with herself. He tried walking faster but she kept up with him, even when he walked through the students and took corners to try and lose her. She would always be right next to him whenever he turned around. He was tired of being polite now.  
  
"Fujin, go away." He said.  
  
But Fujin just replied, "Not until...you take...me back."  
  
"Do you really think you can just follow me every where I go?" He asked as he rounded another corner. But when he looked back she would be right there next to him...again.  
  
"I'm...not letting...you go." She said sternly.  
  
"Hyne you're being stubborn." Zell said as he stepped into the exiting hallway.  
  
Fujin let out a faint smile. "You...should talk."  
  
They went to the cafeteria, as the entered Zell couldn't help but notice how everyone kept staring at them. "Guess word travels fast around here." He thought out loud. With Fujin to his left he bought a few dozen hotdogs, then he looked for a single booth but when he sat down Fujin had already pulled up a chair and watched as he ate. Zell didn't eat more than a few bites before he had gotten tired of Fujin sitting there just watching.  
  
"Do you have to do that?" He asked as he dropped his hotdog.  
  
"Do...what?" she asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Just sit there and watch me eat. Its uncomfortable for me." he replied.  
  
"Sorry." She answered back. She turned in her seat but made sure to prop one foot under that table so he'd trip on it if he tried to leave.  
  
Once Zell saw that she wasn't looking at him anymore he ate his hotdogs in record time. Just before he got up he let out a big burp. Fujin giggled at him. Once he was done he looked under the table to see Fujin's foot there. He politely asked to remove it and then he threw his paper plate away and then put his tray away with the others. He started walking to the exit when all his friends walked in. When they noticed Fujin next to him all the girls cooed and started hugging Zell.  
  
"You two finally got back together that's wonderful." Rinoa said as she stepped back to let Quistis and Selphie hug him.  
  
Zell shrugged them off and started walking when Irvine got in his way. "Hey man, we haven't seen you in days but I guess we all know what you two must have been up to locked away in your room eh?" He said while nudging Zell with his elbow.  
  
Zell stayed quiet and tried to keep walking away when Fujin jumped in. "No...he hasn't...forgiven me...yet." She exclaimed.  
  
Every one looked at Zell, then at Fujin...then back at Zell. They didn't know what to say. The whole moment went from immensely happy to almost too embarrassing and uncomfortable to bear. Eventually Zell walked away from the group but as Fujin tired to follow him every one else got in he way.  
  
"Then if you two aren't together why are you two hanging out?" Irvine asked.  
  
Fujin raised her head up proud but took a second before she answered them. Everyone leaned in to hear what she was going to say. Even Squall wanted to know.  
  
"He...hasn't forgiven...me...but I'm ...not going...to stop...following him...until he...does." She said with a faint smile.  
  
Irvine burst out laughing. "HA! You must have the patience of a saint to put up with Zell's stubbornness."  
  
Selphie spoke next. "Seriously, knowing Zell it might take forever before he gets over you kissing Seifer."  
  
Squall let out a gasp. "You did what?" No one told me that! Rinoa just said that you two were working on some issues...but wow."  
  
Fujin looked down feeling a little ashamed that they all knew now what she had done. She looked at them but realized that she didn't have to feel that way anymore. She loved Zell with all her heart, and that was all that mattered. Finally she spoke up again.  
  
"It doesn't...matter...I...love him...and...I won't...stop till...he loves...me back."  
  
They all commended her for doing what they thought was the impossible, and then Fujin said goodbye to every one and headed out to find Zell again.  
  
After wondering around for a bit. She found him in the library. It was a strange thing seeing him study, but she liked it. Once he saw her he got up and headed to the door. She followed him into the main hall of the garden.  
  
"Damnit Fujin stop following me!" He said facing her, "First I lose all my self respect and now all my friends think I'm a jerk for dumping you. I can't deal with this anymore!"  
  
Fujin kicked his shin. "Idiot...they love...you...almost...as much...as...I do."  
  
Zell threw his arms into the air. "That's not the point! I can't deal with you following me every where I go reminding me of what has happened these last few weeks. Stop torturing me! Get away and stay away!"  
  
Fujin kicked his other shin. "Owe! Stop doing that!" he shouted.  
  
"Jerk...I'm not...leaving...until you...forgive me." She said.  
  
"Fine, you're forgiven Fujin. Now go away!" He shouted again.  
  
"Then...kiss me." She exclaimed.  
  
"What, no I'm not kissing you." He snapped back.  
  
"Then...you don't...forgive me...until you...forgive me...and we're...back together...I'm not...leaving."  
  
Zell shouted at her again. "Go away! Get out of my face!!"  
  
She kicked his shin again. "No!"  
  
"Stop kicking me!" He shouted as he started to rub his shin.  
  
"Stop being...a jerk." She said.  
  
Zell rolled his eyes, "Why do you have to be such a bi." But Fujin kicked the hand that was rubbing his shin.  
  
"Don't be...mean."  
  
"Don't tell me what to do!" He said in a frustrated tone. "What do you want from me?" He finally got out.  
  
"You...know why."  
  
"I'm not going to and I don't know what makes you think I ever will." He started again.  
  
"You...have to...I know...you still...love me." She answered back.  
  
"And what if I don't?" He said sitting on the ground.  
  
This time Fujin kicked his knee. "You're...a bad...liar...I know...you ...love me...and I'm...not going...to go...away until...you...accept it."  
  
Zell positioned himself so that he was sitting with his back against the wall. "So what happens now?"  
  
Fujin sat down next to him. "Don't...give me...that...I know...I'm going...to keep..following you...everywhere...you go."  
  
"Humph, we'll see." Zell shot up and started running, Fujin tried to follow him and was doing a pretty good job until she saw him go through one last door. The boys restroom.  
  
Fujin kicked the doorframe, "Damnit!" but then she thought for a little while and went in. As she walked in a few students gave her strange looks. Before long they cleared out. When she got to the stalls she looked for Zell's shoes. When she found him she knocked on the door.  
"Occupado." He called out.  
  
Fujin smiled as she knocked on the door again. "Nice...try."  
  
End Of Chapter Nine. :D 


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